Saturday, April 21, 2012
I have a couple of contacts now after reaching out to a local commercial truck dealer about places that will buy your truck body (in this case, a 24 foot box) and swap it out for something else. What I really want is a flat bed with a rack over the cab. That would make it somewhat simple to just hang 4 x 8 sheets of plywood from a bolted-on or welded-on scaffolding, and then the rest could be wooden deck-like platforms attached to the steel flat bed.
And since I haven't been laid off, and just did my taxes, that means I may not have to scrimp and save and cut every corner. Just occasionally enlist professional help to repair or maintain the truck, and get the body where I want it. I'm starting to imagine a summer where I'm not laid off and will still have my day job. But I'm imagining it where it won't consume my entire weekend and and weekday life, so I would actually have energy to build something. If the 2013 warehouse space comes together (not looking good... needs more $$) then I have just about everything needed to start this off starting in May. Once I have the truck and basic framework, I can always scale the entire project back to a more simple design if I lose ambition or free time.
So why exactly am I compelled to build this? I'm really starting to question my motivation again. What concerns me is if this is some sort of ego-gratification trip, because I thought I was past that. In the past, I somehow needed to prove to myself that I could achieve the new Mercedes-Benz and have a beautiful, large colonial house on a quiet street. Looking back, I really wasn't buying and having those things to impress people and project some kind of image (although they did). No, I bought them to prove something to myself. Clearly some deep insecurity about wealth and the trappings of prosperity compelled me to bring those into my life. In the process, I learned that after two years of leasing a new Mercedes you need to give it back. And when the housing market collapsed in 2008-9 taking $100,000+ of equity out of my house and leaving me with an upside down mortgage, I have come to take all of these material things a lot less seriously. I'm now strictly on a enjoy now, pay now basis, as a philosophy for living.
Then why would I want to build some extravagant large art car, and not even go after a reasonable little one as a starter art car? This is the question. I haven't even ridden on art cars at Burning Man very much even though I have gone 6 times. Mostly I admired them from afar. I can only conclude there's some insecurity still there. Or, are my dreams just that big? I'd like to think that's the real reason.